


Too Many Small Potatoes

by Nanenna



Series: The American Dream [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mobfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Monsters Weren't Sealed Underground, Alternate universe - Mafia, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Violence, Italian Mafia, Mobfell Papyrus (Undertale), Mobfell Sans (Undertale), Mobfell W. D. Gaster (Undertale), Multi, My first quad I'm so proud, Patchwork AU, Permanent Injury, Sans/Mobfell Gaster/Mobfell Papyrus/Mobfell Sans (Undertale), no editing we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25272586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanenna/pseuds/Nanenna
Summary: The Gaster family usually enjoys going to one of the Dreemurr family's events, but this one seems to be full of too many low level nobodies. Too many puffed up small potatoes with delusions of grandeur, most of them can't even figure out who Don Gaster actually is. Well that sounds like a them problem, Red's just here to do his job: protect their cute little husband and make sure he doesn't drive himself into the ground needlessly. Again.
Relationships: Papyrus/Sans (Undertale), Sans/Sans (Undertale), W. D. Gaster/Papyrus/Sans, W. D. Gaster/Sans
Series: The American Dream [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104059
Comments: 14
Kudos: 86





	Too Many Small Potatoes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Underfell](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/763569) by Vic the Underfella. 



> I dunno it's one of those fics where I have all this grand backstory and then like... where do I go from there? The concept is too vague. I suppose I could go back someday and tell that backstory as an actual story. Someday I'll do the story that actually wants to be written. *sigh*
> 
> In the mean time have my first ever quad, I'm quite proud of it.

Red had his arm slung over their sweetheart’s shoulders, his other hand palming Sans’s ribs as he watched Edge kiss him. Across the car from them Papyrus and Fell both glowered at them. Red had to admit, as angry as he was when his baby brother first got the new crack in his skull, the droop to his socket did make his glower all the more unsettling.

“Will you three please stop?” Papyrus asked with strained politeness.

“We’re married, we’re allowed,” Red replied, both Edge and Sans too occupied to reply on their own.

“Yes, but I didn’t expect you to carry on in such a shamefully public display.”

“We’re in our own car. Besides, I’d expect ya to be thrilled, yer the one that suggested we get married.”

“I did,” Papyrus said proudly, “And I think it’s worked out rather well so far! But! I did not expect you lot to carry on like this. Look at Fell, he’s not acting like rude teenagers in a public park.”

“There’s not enough room in the seat,” Fell grumbled.

Red just laughed at that. Fell was going to have Sans on his arm the whole night, it was only fair Red and Edge got a little touching in before they arrived. It seemed Edge was done with his kiss, the pair panting heavily. Red moved his hand from Sans’s ribs to his mandible and turned his face, then leaned in to steal a quick, chaste kiss of his own, pulling the cigar from his teeth just long enough for the kiss. Then he pulled back and patted Sans on the chest, “Better stop there, don’t want you too worked up before we arrive.”

Sans pouted and poked Red irritably in the ribs. Red’s only response was an amused chuckle and to offer the cigar to Sans. He took it and a nice, long drag, then slowly exhaled like a monster indulging in a vice he was rarely allowed. Papyrus scowled mightily at them, but for once he didn’t say anything. Red had no illusions he wasn’t watching Sans’s HP like a hawk, but he politely didn’t say anything either. Sans offered the cigar to Edge, who tried not to look disgusted as he refused. Sans barely looked to Fell before the younger skeleton was leaning forward to take the cigar, he puffed a few times before handing it back to Red, who just stuck it back between his teeth. Their timing couldn’t be more perfect, the car glided smoothly to a full stop.

“Finally!” Papyrus said loudly, clearly still irritated.

The door opened and only a meaningful look sent Papyrus’s way kept the fidgeting skeleton from hopping out. Red stepped out first, scanning the area around them to make sure no one was too close or radiating harmful Intent. Papyrus hopped eagerly out before Red was finished looking around. That was fine, Red knew Papyrus could take care of himself just fine. While Papyrus straightened out his “blood orange” cravat and smoothed out imaginary wrinkles in his suit, Fell helped Sans step out of the car, Edge bringing up the rear. While Papyrus and Edge worked together to straighten out Sans’s already rumpled suit Red handed off what was left of his cigar to their driver.

“Here, Lessa, someone may as well finish it off.”

Lesser Dog took the cigar with a happy bark. Red just shoved his hands in his pocket and moved to stand at Sans’s 5, which coincidentally put him just behind Papyrus as well. That was fine, he knew it would only last until they got inside and the social butterfly fluttered off to mingle. Edge took the other side, just to the left and behind Fell while Fell held out an arm for Sans to hang off of.

They stepped inside, the low strains of a live band echoing through the large room. Before Papyrus could flutter off Toriel Dreemurr came walking up to them, a large, genuine smile across her face. “Don Gaster! And family, of course.”

“Good evening, Mrs. Dreemurr!” Papyrus greeted enthusiastically. “We’re all delighted to be here for your little soirée.”

Little indeed, it seemed like half the city was invited! Every Don from the monster side of town seemed to be here, a few small timers that had delusions of being Dons, and even a few humans who Red could only guess were Dons milling about. The ones who didn’t think themselves too good to deal with mere monsters, anyway, which meant these humans were beneath their own notice but he was sure they were going to have to go mingle with them anyway.

“And we are glad to have you here, I am sure my husband would say the same if he were not off somewhere.” Toriel motioned into the crowd. “Ah, more guests are arriving, please enjoy yourselves. And I shall make sure to find some time to chat with you.” She winked at Sans, then carried on to go greet the newest arrivals.

“Well! I shall be sure not to be around when you and Mrs. Dreemurr chat, I don’t think I could handle the puns. Now I know you’re here for work, but do try to have a little fun.” Papyrus leaned down to drop a skeletal kiss on Sans’s skull, then flounced off into the crowd.

Sans followed at his own languid pace, still clinging to Fell’s arm. Edge and Red dutifully followed close on their heals, staying on alert for the least whiff of harmful Intent. First order of business was to go pay their respects to the other powerful Dons, Sans’s equals so far as Red and his little brothers were concerned, even if not all of them would admit it yet.

They saw Don Mettaton, resplendent in a long, slim, sparkling evening gown, Alphys dutifully standing beside and just behind him though her gaze was fixed longingly on Don Undyne. Mettaton and Papyrus were chatting away. Good, one less person to have to natter away to. They could go say hello later when all the would be Dons with less clout than their own capos got too annoying.

They drifted around the ball room, stopping to chat with Don Undyne, Don Muffet, and even Don Asgore when they ran into him. Red was amused when the little nobody he’d been talking with got snubbed in favor of Sans and glared at them. “Howdy, Don Gaster, so good to see you here.”

Sans subtly moved his hand into Fell’s and quickly signed into it. “We’re all delighted to be invited,” Fell smoothly translated for their little husband. As loathe as Red was to admit it, their youngest brother was best suited to the job. Quick witted and enough social graces to schmooze with the best of them, leaving Red and Edge to stand around and look pretty while badly pretending not to be sizing up every person in the room as threats. Considering why Sans needed someone to speak for him no one begrudged him the bodyguards.

“Have you met Bert Leoni?” Asgore asked while motioning to the lion monster he’d been chatting with.

Leoni’s fur all ruffled up, but he quickly smoothed it out. Must be one of the ones with delusions of being called a Don, Red would bet he makes all his underlings call him “boss” and feels big about it.

“We haven’t,” Fell said, as smooth as spider silk.

“Mr. Leoni, Don Gaster. Gaster, Mr. Leoni, he deals in insurance.” AKA: such a small racket that all he does is collect protection fees and maybe a little bit of trafficking on the side but not enough to have “runs a shipping company” added onto the “insurance.” Such small potatoes he’s a tater tot. Judging from the way Asgore hastily said, “Ah, I see my wife trying to get my attention, if you gentlemen will excuse me,” and rushed off he felt the same.

Leoni looked Fell up and down thoroughly, then Edge, then Red. His eyes passed briefly over Sans, a flare on interest in them. Red couldn’t blame him, their sweetheart was quite the looker with his smooth, round bones, not a scar or blemish on him. Well, not if you didn’t count the one on his neck hidden by his suit. His already rumpled suit that combined with his half lidded gaze always made Sans look like he was freshly back from a roll in the hay.

Red needed to get his mind off how sexy their husband was and back on the present, even if this Leoni guy wasn’t worth the ground Sans stood on. Especially as Leoni had turned his attention fully on Fell and was looking at him as they spoke. Red shifted a little closer, Leoni’s eyes darted to him and lingered, like he was calculating something. Then he looked at Edge next before focusing back on Fell. This dumbass was looking at everyone except the actual guy with the actual power. Red saw the moment Sans noticed, he pushed his and Fell’s hands down. It would be harder to sign that way but easier to hide, and he probably didn’t have much to say to this poser.

A waiter came by and offered them all drinks, which they accepted. Leoni looked at the tall fluted glasses holding a pale purple liquid with a few cobwebs floating in them and made a face. Guess he wasn’t a fan of spider cider. Red saw another waiter with a tray of glasses full of pale gold liquid head towards them, then very unsubtly veer away at an angle. Seemed Leoni was going to have to wait a while before getting another drink. They stood and listened to Leoni waffle on, guy sure had a lot to say for not doing much, when something across the room caught Sans’s attention. He tugged on Fell’s arm, he obligingly leaned down to let Sans whisper in his audio canal.

“Ah, our husband apologizes, but we must be on our way. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“Well, if you’re going to let your husband boss you around, by all means,” Leoni said oh so graciously.

Red had to really fight the urge to laugh, this guy still didn’t get it! He was even pouting, ridiculous! Edge sidled over and leaned down to murmur just loud enough for Red to hear over all the chatter and music going on around them, “We can completely topple him within the week.” Really it would only take a couple days, but that would be pushing aside more pressing matters that Leoni honestly didn’t deserve to have set aside just for his worthless little racket.

Sans tilted his head in thought, then nodded. Red didn’t even try to hide the wide grin that spread across his face, neither did Edge. Sans picked up Fell’s hand and kissed the back of his knuckles before settling back into clinging to his arm like usual. Red thought he saw the faintest traces of a blush on Fell’s face and wondered what kind of Intent had been pushed into that kiss.

The group headed over towards where all the humans were clustered in a sort of scattered group. There were a few braver monsters talking to the humans, mostly mid level Dons trying to get in with the five big families. And Papyrus. He was flitting about eagerly chatting with anyone who looked interested. Or interesting. Angel bless his extroverted little Soul, he always made later negotiations easier just by being friendly early on. Papyrus waved them over to where he was chatting with a bored looking human: pasty, fat, and balding.

“Brother! Come here, I’d like to introduce you to this human I’ve just met!”

Introductions were made, and it was hilarious watching the human’s face twist in confusion. Red could almost see the gears grinding away in his mostly empty skull, “Wait, I thought Don Gaster was three brothers working together? And these three here match that description, not this friendly guy and his short, frail brother???” he must be thinking. The day the three Ossuary brothers, well Ossuary-Gaster now, had suddenly started giving orders to the Gaster family’s capos and mooks with all the authority of the Don himself rumors had started flying. Not that they’d found out about them until later. Funny how even the humans had heard these rumors.

Once that confusion was as cleared up as it was going to get while the human was too nervous to ask what he probably feared would be rude questions to ask someone being guarded by three tall monsters with very sharp teeth, Red let his attention drift to the rest of his surroundings. While Sans chatted with this and then that human Red watched every human waiter and a couple monster waiters carrying trays of glasses heading towards them suddenly swerve off in another direction. The only drinks that made it over to their group were the spider cider and sparkling crab apple juice. He had to admit, Toriel had her wait staff well trained. But there was only so far drinks would take them though, and Sans needed to take a break and eat something.

They had just said their farewells to latest human when, “Fell, come dance with me,” Edge all but demanded as he pulled him out onto the dance floor, Red already herding Sans to some seats along the sidelines. It was a method they were trying out after accidentally stumbling upon it at the last social event they’d had to go to: dinner and a show. Sans would figure it out, of course, but no matter how much he grumbled about how delicate his health was it still was delicate and as his husbands it was their job to watch out for him. Red parked his coccyx at one of the tables with Sans in his lap, sitting so they could watch the dance floor as Edge led Fell across it.

A waiter showed up with two plates: a lovely steak and red potatoes, all already cut up into bite sized pieces so no one would need a knife. They sat and watched his brothers foxtrot across the floor, Red alternating feeding Sans a bite and himself one. Then the pair split up to go find others to dance or schmooze with. Edge didn’t get to use his dancing skills often and delighted in dancing with Papyrus, Mettaton, Muffet, Toriel, anyone who was willing. Fell liked to dance some, but would usually take a break every other song to simply sit and chat with whoever he’d just danced with or someone they’d met earlier that evening.

“Ah, here you are.” Toriel sat down next to them, half full wine glass in hand. “Do not fall asleep quite yet, the night is young yet my friend.”

Sans snuggled deeper into Red’s hold (he’d told Red once that because of his plush magic he was the most comfortable, Red hadn’t nearly teared up over it thankyouverymuch). Sans lifted his hands and happily started signing, “Hey, Tori, nice shindig you’re throwing.”

“Thank you, it took a little while to pull it all together but I think things are going splendidly.”

“What’s with all the potato children?”

Red snorted and tried to cover it up, based on the knowing smirk Toriel tossed his way it didn’t work.

“Since the only humans who would deign to come were all new or simply have small territories I thought it would be best to invite a few monsters in the same situation.”

“Small time bosses rubbing elbows with small time bosses while us big wigs look down on them.”

“You must admit they do all seem to have similar tastes.”

“Well I’m in a glass house then because I’ve got the same tastes. I’m new to this too, not from a long line of Dons like you and the hubby.”

“You are in a very different situation, no matter how much some would like to disagree.”

Sans just shrugged. Red fed him another bite of steak, this time smothered in the ketchup he’d managed to convince a waiter to bring them. Sans wasn’t wrong on the cheap taste.

“Well then, how about we have that real chat now? Red, be a dear and let us have a little privacy, please.”

“It’s rude to talk about people who are listening, after all.” Sans puffed a few breathy laughs.

Red rolled his eyes, but did as Toriel asked. Once standing, he dropped a quick kiss on the top of Sans’s skull, then took his plate and moved to go lean against a wall just far enough away not to listen in on what they were saying. Didn’t stop him from seeing Sans’s hands though.

“It’s been great,” Sans signed in response to something Toriel had asked. His eyes searched the room, stopping briefly on Edge, Fell, then Red before focusing back on Toriel. “I love them.”

Red started scanning the rest of the room, on the alert for any malicious Intent or any interesting people they should go introduce themselves to after Sans finished his chat. There was a burst of loud, familiar laughter. Red looked back to find Toriel laughing as if she’d just heard the best joke ever while Sans blushed so brightly he was actually lighting up the table, all while shrinking in on himself. Red smiled, then went back to scanning the room, absently mindedly eating the rest of his meal as he did so. Toriel laughed again, this time Sans silently laughing along with her.

Edge came dancing by, leading a human woman with gray hair through some fancy steps. Red didn’t even know humans came with gray hair. “How goes it, Brother?”

“Fine, sweetheart’s just chattin’ with the lady of the house.”

“Good, good,” he expertly spun the human, “I’ll give you a little more time then, it looks like he hasn’t finished eating.”

“Not yet, but he did real good so far, ate every bite I gave him.”

“Excellent, hopefully this method will keep working.” And with that they were already dancing off again, feet going a mile a minute. It made Red tired just to look at them.

A couple songs later Fell came wandering over, a pair of tumblers full of deep amber liquid in hand. He gave one to Red, who sipped it appreciatively. “Damn, how’d you get a waiter with these close enough to snatch them?”

“Well, I’m not the shortest skeleton in the room, now am I?”

“Neither am I.”

“No, but you’re still not all that tall either.”

“Still older than you,” Red groused right back.

Fell just laughed. “So I did ask, it seems just to be safe she just told anyone serving alcohol or human food to stay away from any and all skeletons.”

Red grimaced, “I can’t imagine him trying to eat human food, it’s hard enough just to get him to eat monster food.” Broths and gruel were easy enough for him to eat, but Papyrus had admitted that after the Incident first happened that had been all he was fed and now he couldn’t stand the sight of them.

“Oh, looks like they’re done. Should I come with you?”

“Go see if you can snag us some desserts, maybe some more of them fancy finger goods, then join us.”

“Good plan, I’ll be right back with that.” Fell quickly stalked off, his long strides easily eating up the ground when he wasn’t matching their husband’s shorter legs.

Red put down his half drank bourbon on the nearest surface and sauntered on back over, “Didja miss me, sweetheart?”

Sans didn’t move at all aside from his hands, “Did you have fun watching half the conversation?”

“Sweetheart, some lines even a rube like me don’t cross. The lady knew ya first, I ain’t gonna butt into yer friendship.”

Sans looked away, embarrassed, “Thanks.”

Red wasn’t going to have any of that, he picked Sans up and sat back down with him in his lap. Sans sighed and snuggled deeper into his hold, his face practically pressed into the side of Red’s skull. “So what do you have planned for the rest of the night?”

“I dunno,” Sans whispered into Red’s audio canal, his voice hoarse from disuse and straining with the effort of speaking at all. “What do you and Fell have planned for me?”

“Hush,” Red admonished, pulling Sans gently down into his lap so he couldn’t whisper anymore. “Save yer voice, yer gonna need it later when we make ya scream.”

Sans blushed prettily at that, a soft coloring of sharp blue that lit up his cheeks and traveled down to his neck. The color was interrupted around his jaw and over his neck, ugly cracks of dirty yellow that were only visible when he blushed like this. They made Red want to go digging through the city dump until he found the dust of the monster that did this and kill them all over again, but that wasn’t happening so instead he contented himself with seeing how much he could make their little husband blush.

“Ya wanna hear all the plans we got fer ya?” Red whispered huskily against the side of Sans’s skull. “Fer what we’re gonna do to ya when we get home? Or maybe ya wanna go see if there’s a coat closet we can sneak off to ‘round here?”

Fell chose that moment to set down a tray with a few plates and bowls on it, then drag over a chair to be as close as possible to them. “Oh, what a pretty blush,” Fell murmured as he leaned in close to give Sans a nuzzle.

“I was just tellin’ him all our plans fer what we’re gonna do when we get home.”

“I like those plans, those are my favorite plans.”

Red picked up a spoon and scooped up some ice cream, smiling at the array of desserts and little finger foods Fell had brought over, then held the scoop up to Sans’s teeth. “Gonna need to get yer magic up nice an’ full if we’re gonna run ya into the mattress, yeah sweetheart?”

Sans gave Red a half lidded stare that eloquently said, “I know exactly what you’re doing and I’m only allowing it because I’m feeling generous,” but he ate the spoonful and that was all Red really cared about. They still had a long night of schmoozing ahead of them, Red doubted any of them would actually be up for anything more than falling face first into bed and sleeping until noon the next day, but for now they had this moment together in their own little world as Red and his brothers worked together to take care of their husband.


End file.
